Early Chloë memories

Chloë is going to be four weeks old tomorrow. Already. Can't quite believe it, and feel very emotional that those early days have gone already. It doesn't seem four weeks ago that we were holding her all day long, asleep on us, in the hospital. And we can rarely do that now, back in our day-to-day lives. I plan to have a lot of sleeping cuddles with her this week, while she is still little and curled up and still a newborn, before she's a 1 month old! Also, a note for myself to remember - I am no longer breastfeeding, but want to write this to remember what it was like when I felt her little hands resting on my chest in a mini cuddle, and when she'd had her fill and would pull herself away, then snuggle up on my bosom as a pillow, I loved that. Goodness me. Time does pass quickly.

Chloë Mae

Chloë Mae arrived on 7 March at 10.13am, weighing in at 7lb 10oz. She was five days early which was a nice surprise - none of that waiting around after the due date comes and goes. She arrived very quickly, just half an hour after we got to hospital, and instantly felt a part of my life, it was as if she had always been there. That took a while longer with Benjy, but then, the first child is much more of an upheaval. We had to stay in hospital a few days so Benjy came to visit us and was great - showed a passing interest in Chloë, and was fine with Eddie taking him home and me not coming with. The second night I was in hospital the four of us had a pizza takeaway (Chloë second-hand of course) which was fun, and Benjy was more upset to leave but only because he enjoyed playing in the hospital room rather than leaving me. Since coming home things have, of course, been hectic - you do forget what life with a newborn is like. Chloë has quickly become a part of Benjy's life. When he gets home the first thing he does is ask where she is, and he loves to hold her, have her lie with him in his bed, and have her watch him dance in his room, it's so lovely to watch. He really loves her, and I do wonder how that happens, just like that. As for Chloë herself - she seems to be a more difficult baby than Benjy was although as time goes on, I remember more about Benjy at this age and remember that he wasn't as easy as I'd been remembering. Chloë does, though, seem very unsettled and uncomfortable, which upsets me, it seems as though something hurts her, so we are trying a few different ideas to try to resolve that. She was very sleepy for the first couple of weeks - a stark contrast to Benjy who was always very alert, perhaps because she was early and he was late. But in the last ten days or so she has woken up and is the loveliest, sweetest little thing when she has her eyes wide open and is listening intently to what I am saying, and taking it all in. I adore her, without yet knowing anything about her, my sweet little baby girl. These few weeks are hard, but I know it gets better, and how much so, and how quickly, and I am so excited to have her as part of our little family. These photos are some from the very early days, the first when she was perhaps ten days old or so, at the most, the one with Benjy about the same, and the third at three weeks.

And a classic Benjy moment to add to this. When my contractions had started, and Benjy woke up, of course it was just a normal day to him. I distinctly remember, and am sure I always will, being on my hands and knees trying to breathe through a contraction while Benjy was doing his signature dancing to his Hello Puppy toy, insisting I sing along. It was hilarious, and as Eddie put it at the time, a very different vibe to my labour with Benjy!